The Doomsday List

It should be noted that very few of the doom-and-gloom purveyors are actually programmers. Those of us (like your ever humble list maintainer) who are involved with these systems on a daily basis tend to suspect that while there may be widespread outages and related problems, the worst that will happen is that a whole host of unlucky nerds will have to pull several all-nighters in front of their terminals. But we will get it fixed.

Update (1/4/2000): I think it is fairly safe to say that this prediction has mercifully failed. Was it a case of over-hype, or timely solution? You decide. In the meantime, would anyone like 800 tins of Beanie-Weenies?

Update (1/4/2000): We still seem to be here and functioning. I filled up my car with gas, and paid with my credit card. The complete collapse of civilization as we know it appears to have made little impact on the daily lives of the inhabitants of our planet. However, Gary seems to be holding out some hope that death and destruction will slowly creep upon us in the coming months.

I think not.

Sounds like a pretty good description of the Nasdaq roller-coaster to me. Sigh.

Update (5/6/00): To the complete surprise of almost no-one (except, possibly, Mr. Noone), the end of the world has once again failed to arrive as scheduled. To his credit, Richard did strongly pepper his recent articles with weasel-words like "potential" and "possibly", but one suspects that life has once again thrown a would-be Jeremiah the proverbial curve ball. Now all Richard has to do is figure out where those voices in his head really came from...

Update (6/18/00): An addendum on Noone's home page makes the insightful observation that "...most earth change activity has not affected high population areas...". It does point out that there have been earthquakes across the Pacific Rim, however. Golly gee. Earthquakes in the most active tectonic plates on the planet? Who woulda thunk it...

Also, there will be a forty day period of fasting from August 20 to September 30. You have been warned. (Finally, a use for all those Y2K canned meats!)

Update (6/18/2000) : Well, it seems that Marilyn's third date for the first rapture came and went with no obvious Heavenly fanfare. What of the future? Marilyn seems to think that the Church is currently in a 10-day waiting period, based on Rev 2:10. That means that June 20 should see the Rapture. This time for sure.

Update (6/25/2000) : A new note on Marilyn's front page reads as follows:

Messianic Rabbi Michael Rood announced today on the Prophecy Club that the corrected Solar Calendar proves that Shavuot begins this year on July 9th. This because the barley was 'Abib', green/ripe, on June 5th.

This makes Oct. 28th Tishri 1, 6001.

If his calculations are correct then the Pentecost Rapture may still occur this year.

So there.

Update (7/2/2000) : More stupid calendar tricks. Poor old Noah has been pressed into service yet again as a harbinger of the End. In a long and very confusing piece of eisegesis, Marilyn somehow arrives at Av 19 (Aug 20) as a possible date for the Rapture. Says Marilyn:

"I wonder if the indwelling Holy Spirit of Christ will fly the dove (Bride) to her rest, Heaven, on Av 19 (Sunday, Aug. 20, 2000)?"

Uh...that would be a "no".

Update (7/17/00): Most of Robert's pages are now gone, with the exception of a home page that sports a spiffy image of a morphing alien coupled with a rather pathetic poem. Still he admonishes us not to trust those greys. I intend to take him seriously. Alien cookout, anyone? Hmmm...tastes like chicken...

Yup - it's metal helmet time, as several billion tons of rock come crashing down on us unsuspecting homo sapiens. And, with such remarkably accurate soothsayers on her side, how can Melody possibly fail to be wrong?

Not to worry, our resourceful exegete points out that several events in this time period confirm his predictions. O ye of little faith...

Update (8/27/00): Well, the Battle of Armageddon remains as elusive as ever. Have no fear, however, as Ephraim remains convinced that September 30 will mark the beginning of the Great Tribulation, and October 22 the Rapture. (Cool! On my birthday, too...)

Surf's up, dudes!

This means that he expects the invasion of God and Magog either at the end of September, 2000 or October 28, 2000.

One should also note that Jim has a page pointing to June 1, 2000 as a possible date for the Rapture, though he seems to be unsure about how seriously it should be taken, considering the source.

Looks like we won't have to worry about whom to vote for in November.

James was suspicious of NASA's silence concerning comet 76P. Following a chain of what we will generously call reasoning, James visits Mother Shipton, Gordon-Michael Scallion and that old stalwart Nostradamaus, and decided that there is an outside chance that 76P could knock Phobos out of Mars orbit, and directly into the path of the Earth. He projects an impact date of November 12, 2000, although he seems to think that a more likely period would be sometime in October.

Whenever it hits, I, for one, intend to hold my umbrella up high.

Apparently, the UN will take over the world sometime between March 26th and April 24th of 2001. No-one will be able to buy or sell anything without UN authority after May 2001. And a worldwide famine will begin by September of this same year.

Consider yourselves warned.

She notes that she expects the Rapture between now and the start of the Tribulation. Anyone want to take bets that this is going to come down to the wire?

Update (5/30/01) : Marilyn seems to be in her quiet phase right now. Traditionally, there will be a few days of utter silence from the Agee camp while she desperately tries to figure out why she is still here. This will be followed by the equally traditional "Monkey Throwing Darts at the Calendar" phase, after which she will announce that, in fact, the Rapture was actually scheduled for next year all along.

Go Marilyn!

Update (6/15/01) : The Monkey/Dart phase is now in full swing. Having already seen June 9/10 go whizzing by, Marilyn is (cautiously) pointing the marker to June 21. It is on this day, apparently, that the Moon will be New, and the Eclipse will be in Gemini, or somesuch. One can only hope that Jupiter aligns with Mars, and Peace guides the planets as well...

At other points in this meandering, barely coherent diatribe, we are told that America will probably be under totalitarian rule before the end of Summer, 1999, and that Y2K (anyone remember that?) will signal the start of an inevitable slide into economic disaster. Seems that a few updates are called for.

Update (2/22/01): Clay explains his "reasoning"...

It just occured to me that The Rapture® could have already happened and we would not know it! If you take The Bible literally, as Agee does, only 144,000 make the cut. With about 5.5 billion people on the planet, that makes the ratio aroud 1:38,000. If only one out of 38,000 people disappear, would they really be missed? They certainly would be buried under the noise of missing persons, for example, for 2003, 6021 children were reported missing in Iowa (not even counting the adults). The population of Iowa was 2,944,062. This gives a missing persons ratio of 1:489. Even if 90% of the cases are solved, the ratio is still 1:4890, enough to hide people spirited away.

Even with the above theory, I will still consider the prophecy to have failed if Agee is still around after June 14th.

Update: Agee now seems distracted with determining the exact date of the birth of Jesus I have not found a concrete date for The Rapture this time around.

Update: It's April 17, 2006 and Texas is still here (some say unfortunately). Ken claims that the Neocons called off the plan because of his site. Most think that reverse speech is hogwash. You decide.

Update: Well, here it is, long after sundown on Saturday and the UN building and greater Manhattan are still here.

Update: Although the situation in the middle east is still quite volatile, Iran has not attacked Israel, or anyone else as of this date, So I'm calling this one Failed

December 24, 2006. The UN Undergoes a major reorganization. The security council is no more and the UN General Assembly governs at large. This is the forth and last incarnation of the UN before the end. See also their predictions for May 4, 2007 and August 20, 2008

Update: The only thing of significance that has happened over at the UN is the passage of Iran sanctions, hardly a reorganization. The LWs are hedging this one by saying, "So it would have to be a non declared UN decision for the moment."

UPDATE: The group is now saying "We no longer have a scriptural mandate to publish in advance the precise day....which we understand to be a terrorist nuclear bomb..." talk about weasling out. But the LWs are still making future predictions to have fun with.

May 4, 2007, The UN Takes over the world and everyone must get the number of the beast. The web site recommendeds fleeing to the mountains. I'm already in the mountains, so I'm all set, how about you?

The last day of Armageddon is now scheduled for August 20, 2008. Book your flights now.

Sadly, Terence himself will not be around to see these dramatic events: he "relinquished his body" on April 3rd, 2000.

UPDATE: Denniger has moved the date forward to Jan 20 2025.